Saturday, March 23, 2013

missing you at 4am

read it somewhere online last month, that one loses her/his friends most easily when s/he is in her/his 20s. can't exactly remember the list of reasons given, but i did recall myself nodding with one or two reasons stated. something to do with distance. physical distance.

now that we're all apart, i understand that, it does not matter if you're in your early 20s or late 30s or even into your 60s, we would and could still lose friends easily. as easily as those excuses we gave, so conveniently made, only to realize much later on, it didn't take a lot to maintain that connection.

it's not about how willing we are to go the distance. sometime, it's even not about the distance.
as cliché as it sounds, it's about the heart.

the poet Edward Estlin Cummings said, i carry your heart with me, i carry it in my heart. it doesn't apply to just lovers. and it's definitely not about grand gestures. the friend you found in me, may have been lazy and lacking now. sometimes, i tried and i did. sometimes, i'm tired of taking the first step. 

maybe i could have tried harder.

i would say hi more often, ask about your day and pester you to tell me more about your current love interest, i promise to check whatsapp daily and reply asap, i would take initiative to update you about the life that i now lead away from you, because you're a part of it.

i would do those little things to make you smile,
because you had.

used to always do so.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

О мой русский класс...

я ушел с русского класса в этом семестре :(
я все еще здесь у меня разговорный класс! :)