2. when a stranger offers you a ride..
the humid weather was almost unbearable, even for someone like me who don't mind walking just to sweat it out. but just as i stepped out from my tuition kid's condominium into the embrace of the relentless sun, i could feel the unsightly damp patches were forming on my tee under my armpits. i do like my kid well enough, but i detest the ulu-ness of this Mount Sinai. seriously, where else would you find bus feeder service in residential area ending at 8pm daily and non-operating on Sundays??? i swear that if i'm ever that rich to live in such a private estate area, i must must must have my own mode of transportation.
i dragged myself towards the dreaded bus interchange which is at least a good 15 minutes away. because it was a SUNDAY. ): BUT i must have accumulated enough good karma. (: just as i passed the security post and stepped out of the condo, a van which just turned out from the car park, made an U-turn and stopped beside me. the driver offered me a ride out of this ulu place, then further decided to drop me at my destination. on the ride, the kind uncle talked and talked, his "friendly" chatter never stopped (guess driving alone is really boring?) till he said something that totally threw me off. 'you know.. as i was driving out, i saw you in front walking under the hot sun. then i was thinking with the long wavy hair caressing your back, nice legs, the back view was seductive enough. i guess you must be a pretty girl..'
??? how was i supposed to react? beforehand, he went on and on about education and his children and his parenting golden rules. now what? are you trying to hit on me? seductive? holy crap. sounds damn wrong. at that point of time, i stared ahead, thinking he's crazy and has real bad taste. i really wanna scoff at him, and tried to hold back my laughter and my nasty reply. instead, i made up a humorous conclusion for him. i said, 'oh.. yaaa.. i'm a classic case of Beethoven- Bei Duo Fen, meaning from the back (bei) i score a lot of points (duo fen) but when i turn around, totally CMI..' and then i made a Ru-Hua face and smiled at him. you should see his expression - PRICELESS. to cover up the awkward silence which ensued after the guest appearance of Ru-Hua, he muttered, 'no laaa.. my guess was right, you're a beautiful girl, but aiyoo.. you youngster nowadays.. and must take care of your skin.'
heeeelllo? uncle, your aesthetic standard is rather screwed i say. you didn't pick up a sluttish woman scantily clad in her sexy clubbing gab at Clarke Quay. you had offered a ride to a tutor who unwilling woke up before sunset on a Sunday and couldn't be bothered to dress up at all. for the few closest selected ones who saw me in my barely-awake-mode knows how terrible i would look, Ru-Hua is a worthy competitor. i was donned in my old grey ROUND neck tee (for the benefit of those who wanna make assumption of visible cleavage) and straight jeans with my dirty melon havaianas. my face was bare (and that's rare, usually for my own vanity and the safety of the weak-hearted, i would always slap on minimum concealer before i set foot outta the house) because it was too early and i was too lazy and that ulu place had zero human traffic.
a deadly combination of dark eye-circles, scary complexion that would make Sadako (face covered by hair) more bearable and a whole head of unruly messy hair. wow, i'm truly beautiful, no matter what they say... words can't bring me down.
oh. for those who hadn't have a chance to meet Ru-Hua, may i introduce her to you now: